In what is already being called the greatest glitch/heist/troll in streaming history, millions of Spotify users opened their 2025 Wrapped this morning only to discover their Top 5 Artists of the Year are:
- Dylan
- Dylan
- Dylan
- Dylan
- Dylan
…because I’m Rick James, b*tch.
Yes, Charlie Murphy’s legendary “Dylan” from Dave Chappelle’s 2003 Chappell Show sketch has somehow hijacked Spotify Wrapped 2025, turning every playlist on Earth into a five-way tie for cocaine-fueled unity tour supremacy.
Users woke up to psychedelic purple-and-coke-dust color palettes, the top genre listed as “Habits & Unity,” and their “Top Song” mysteriously titled “Cocaine… Darkness… Everybody Loves Me!” (with 4.7 billion collective streams that literally nobody remembers playing).
The best Wrapped slides going viral right now:
- “You listened to 184,736 minutes of Dylan… that’s the equivalent of getting your couch reupholstered 47 times.”
- Aura portrait: A single white powder footprint on a velvet couch.
- “You were in the top 0.0001% of Dylan listeners… because you ARE Dylan, baby.”
- One user’s “2025 Listening Personality”: “The Unity Tour Bus Driver – you never stop, you never sleep, and you definitely don’t remember last night.”
Twitter/X is absolute pandemonium:
- “My Spotify just told me I’m the #1 Dylan listener in the world… I have never once searched ‘Dylan’ in my life. I’m scared and honored.” – 2.4M likes
- “Just showed my mom my Wrapped and she whispered ‘what have you been doing in your room’” – 1.8M likes
- Rick James trending worldwide for the first time since 2004 with the caption “He’s back, baby!”
Spotify’s official statement at 11:42 AM simply read: “We are aware of the Dylan situation. We are looking into it. Darkness.” (The last word was later deleted, but screenshots live forever.)
Meanwhile, Dave Chappelle posted one Instagram story: a black screen with the text “I told y’all I was coming back for my publishing” and 38 million people lost their minds.
Conspiracy theories are flying faster than Charlie Murphy’s slippers:
- Was this a 20-year-long Chappelle masterplan?
- Did Rick James’s estate hack the algorithm?
- Is this actually the most elaborate Spotify marketing stunt of all time?
Whatever it is, one thing is clear: 2025 belongs to Dylan. Five times. Cold blooded.
